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Music, poetry, or film often portray the heart as a symbol of love – it can be stolen, given away, or broken. But neurobiology suggests that love is not about the heart; it’s all about the biochemical signals of the brain.
The neurobiology of love
Sweaty palms, flushed cheeks, butterflies – love can feel the most exciting, but also the most uncertain, once it first starts. The release of neurotransmitters in the brain can explain much of this experience.
Love seems to be related to the reward regions of the brain, such as the ventral tegmental area. This area produces dopamine, which motivates you to repeat behaviour that felt good or was rewarding. This is why dopamine also plays a key role in addiction. Similar to being addicted, your brain starts to crave your object of affection; seeing them feels like a high, their absence feels like withdrawal.
Changes can also be seen for the neurotransmitter serotonin. Serotonin regulates emotions, keeping them stable. When in love, serotonin levels show a drop, as seen in individuals with obsessive-compulsive disorder. This can explain why your life suddenly centres around this one person; how you keep checking your phone to see whether they replied or daydream about them constantly.
As love progresses, dopamine and serotonin levels start to stabilise. The neurotransmitters oxytocin and vasopressin come to play. They are especially released when we cuddle or are intimate with our partner. Oxytocin and vasopressin build the basis for emotional connection, commitment and trust. Rather than being obsessive, love starts to feel calm and safe.
Manipulating love
Understanding the neurobiology of love can also help us understand what we can do to keep the passion alive: Trying new things together can boost dopamine, being physically intimate can increase oxytocin.
But neurobiologists have gone further than merely offering advice on how to improve romantic relationships. A review shows: Injecting romantic partners with oxytocin can decrease jealousy, reduce conflict, and can make them feel more attracted to each other.
However, the question is: can we really reduce something as profound as love to mere biochemical signals? And if it can, could we engineer the perfect relationship with the right mix of neurotransmitters?
The psychology of love
If love were purely chemical, it would be predictable and easy to manipulate. However, why is it that people can have the same biochemical reaction, but react to love so differently?
According to attachment theory, our early relationships with caregivers lay the foundation for how we form romantic attachments as adults. People with secure attachment styles tend to build trusting, stable relationships, while those with anxious attachment may crave reassurance and fear abandonment. On the other hand, those with avoidant attachment often struggle with intimacy and prefer emotional distance.
The complexity of love
Love has a clear biochemical profile, but how relationships start, progress and change depend on many other factors: the way we experienced love as a child, the beliefs we have about ourselves and the world, the societal and personal context we are in.
While science can give us certain levels of insight into what love is, it’s the deeper, often unexplainable aspects of human connection that make love so special. It is defined not just by our neurotransmitters, but by the moments we share, our vulnerabilities, and the way we grow together.
Picture by tinytribes on pixabay
Author: Charlotte Sachs
Buddy: Xuanwei Li
Editing: Elena Markantonakis
Translation & Editing Translation: Lucas Geelen
